Kitsune Form/Immortal Cyan/January 17, 2020

Refining and proofreading wiki articles.
Post Reply
User avatar
Immortal Cyan
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Posts: 113
Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 3:20 pm

Kitsune Form/Immortal Cyan/January 17, 2020

Post by Immortal Cyan »

https://shattered-universe.com/doku.php ... se:kitsune

A quick writeup for Fan Mei Xing's species; Essentially a "custom" Taianese form.
User avatar
CadetNewb
Commander
Commander
Posts: 486
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:09 pm

Re: Kitsune Form/Immortal Cyan/January 17, 2020

Post by CadetNewb »

Looking over the article, I think the main issue is that this is something that appears to be produced outside of the state. Though the Taianese would likely promote people becoming more like them, they'd likely want to maintain a close grip on their gene sequences or the implementation of them to keep prices high. That way, only the very best of the 'lesser masses' upgrade. If Genesis BioAnimation is a subsidiary of a state run organization, or is supported by The Empire and run by 2nd Class Citizens, I can definitely see this working out.

What are your thoughts @Immortal Cyan ?
User avatar
Immortal Cyan
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Posts: 113
Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 3:20 pm

Re: Kitsune Form/Immortal Cyan/January 17, 2020

Post by Immortal Cyan »

Well, I made them a pariah form because I didn't want to infringe on the idea of there being twelve main forms of Taianese. This is kind of my little vanity project, especially since the way I wrote them, I don't think that the Empire of Tai Pan would want to sponsor or even associate with this kind of thing. I imagine that there are probably a few 2nd Class Taianese on the board/leadership of Genesis BioAnimation, but it's an independent company that is cashing in on the reputable beauty of the Taianese by taking it a step further.

Personally, I think it would be pretty impossible Taianese to keep a safe-guard on their gene sequences. I feel like all Genesis BioAnimation would need is DNA samples from maybe 100-300 unique Taianese subjects to achieve this. I don't think that's very hard to obtain for even a small company. It's not like they have an encryption on their DNA or something.
User avatar
CadetNewb
Commander
Commander
Posts: 486
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:09 pm

Re: Kitsune Form/Immortal Cyan/January 17, 2020

Post by CadetNewb »

Alright, that makes sense. What we'll need then is a basic article about Genesis BioAnimation, basically a paragraph or two defining what it is and what it does, its relationship to Tai Pan (or lack of), that sort of stuff. This didn't matter in regards to the Jongwu since they're 'just animals' to the Taianese, but this would be something The Empire is a little sensitive to despite being so 'open armed' about people adopting their genetics.

I would also like for the article to mention that they can have as few as just a single tail, all the way up to nine. That way, more of the adoptables that have been purchased for the site have an easier time integrating.
User avatar
Immortal Cyan
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Lieutenant Junior Grade
Posts: 113
Joined: Tue May 08, 2018 3:20 pm

Re: Kitsune Form/Immortal Cyan/January 17, 2020

Post by Immortal Cyan »

This works for me! I'll get to those things right away!
User avatar
Mike
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 206
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:21 am

Re: Kitsune Form/Immortal Cyan/January 17, 2020

Post by Mike »

The King is dead long live the King.

I will take a look at your article to make sure this gets finished up. Apologies for the service delay.
Image
User avatar
Mike
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 206
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 8:21 am

Re: Kitsune Form/Immortal Cyan/January 17, 2020

Post by Mike »

Okay, so here's what I've come up with on the first look-through for you. I did a glance-back over Cadet's comments so I'll try to stay away from them.

Here are my initial questions and what stick out to me.
  1. Link to the production company in the article OR if you don't want to write a whole new page on the production company, you could add a section for history, and explain why the Genesis BioAnimation people came up with the fluffy-tailed cute things. Were they inspired by Jongwu? Were they like, watching too much internet porn? This is more a point of personal curiosity but if I want to know it, it's possible that other people who might want to use the species would want to know it too, why it was originally created, and why it was created without permission. Is it black-markety? Was there a falling out? Drama? Could be fun to know this.
  2. It's worth noting that the first class of citizen are typically agendered or asexual in Tai Pan. While sex work is real work, there's probably some social stigma. You seem to have represented this more or less properly. Bonnie for you there. I'm just re-iterating this.
  3. You could perhaps mention an implied weakness (lack of strength, fragile constitution) more clearly, but as it seems to be implied, that seems okay. I mean, they pop their tails off like lizards which is cool. Anyway, just keep in mind they're not taianese +, they're off-brand taianese, and it should be good.
Additionally I apologize for CadetNewb's skeezy suggestion, which I've removed. Don't put that in there. Please.

Questions, thoughts?
Image
Post Reply