Gnormiek Collective [Rework]

These articles were not approved and will need further revisions.
Post Reply
User avatar
CadetNewb
Commander
Commander
Posts: 486
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:09 pm

Gnormiek Collective [Rework]

Post by CadetNewb »

This is an ongoing review for the Gnormiek Collective a new nation for the setting made by @Ahoy

Looking the article over, the biggest issue is actually it's history. Since this is the face-page of the article, you only need a few short paragraphs at most to briefly summarize it. The bulk that you have here can then be placed in a sub-article. You can choose to have it reviewed with the main article here, or reviewed separately, but please let me know once you've finished streamlining the main nation article that's under review.

Next, would be MOTHER itself. From what I understand here, the types of possible RP within the nation would potentially be very limited. There is very little intrigue, games for thrones, room for crime or corruption and all the other interesting things that drive the vast majority of stories. Is this what you want, and why?

Norms and socialization can be renamed to Culture, and also suffers from the same issue as the history section. It can be narrowed down to a few summary paragraphs at most, with the bulk of it being placed into a sub-article dedicated to culture. I've also noticed that the phrasing and terms used aren't acceptable for a wiki either, ranging from the way in which the US states are referenced, to the way in which the reader themselves are addressed.

As for what is being presented here overall though, I cannot help but feel that this is all very monolithic, utopian, and also boring. What is supposed to be interesting about them?
User avatar
CadetNewb
Commander
Commander
Posts: 486
Joined: Wed Feb 07, 2018 8:09 pm

Re: Gnormiek Collective [Under Review]

Post by CadetNewb »

Alright, I just checked in with Ahoy and since he's low on those creative juices right now and the article is unfinished, I'm moving it to the Rework section. Just make a new submission for review and a link to the old article when you're ready.
Post Reply