[Company/Corporation] The Void Star Corporation

[Dragon_God]

URL: http://www.shattered-universe.com/doku. ... orporation


Pages for products will be made later.

[Tony]

Review complete.

Well, your grammar and spelling check out. I can't find anything wrong with the article in that regard, and I liked the little quote about the interview at the end. Very creative and characterful. I am now interested in reading your other articles.

Art: You have art! I like the little logo, it is very charming and colorful. It makes your corporation seem lighthearted and even fun. I really am warming up to this.

Criticism: Alright we have about five different in setting nations. This is a corporation, not a nation. A corporation is an entity intended to make money. Usually, they operate within a nation. So I'd like for you to select a nation of origin where this corporation was legally incorporated.

Secondly: I see that the corporation is mostly robots. While not implausible, I don't understand how people can interact with such a thing when it technically has zero employees. I want to see your corporation be a thing, so having organic NPCs and opening the door for player characters to seek employment is a must(You could argue a player character could be a robot buuuutttt.)

Overall: I like this. You did a wonderful job and it was concise and easy to read. I can tell you put some thought and work into this.

You will have SU approval when you can explain and/or address my criticisms!

Great Job!

[Dragon_God]

Edited