Vanilla Honeysuckle/Immortal Cyan/October 29, 2019

Refining and proofreading wiki articles.
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Immortal Cyan
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Vanilla Honeysuckle/Immortal Cyan/October 29, 2019

Post by Immortal Cyan » Mon Oct 28, 2019 10:17 pm

https://www.shattered-universe.com/doku ... oneysuckle

A Jongwu breed made exclusively by a corporation that I'm gonna submit...later (which is currently in procrasination hell). Probably am going to make more. :D
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Kim
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Re: Vanilla Honeysuckle/Immortal Cyan/October 29, 2019

Post by Kim » Sat Nov 09, 2019 12:32 pm

Making your Waifu Cat girls from actual cats. XD Thank you for writing this Immortal.
I also write webcomics~
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Re: Vanilla Honeysuckle/Immortal Cyan/October 29, 2019

Post by CadetNewb » Mon Nov 11, 2019 1:06 am

Overall, a pretty solid article. I think it implies that this research group - which doesn't appear affiliated with Tai Pan proper - piggybacked/reverse engineered the Empire's Jongwu efforts to start creating their own as well. At least that's the impression I got, and there's nothing wrong with that. The only criticisms I'd make would be to use the bullet points at the bottom for the most distinctive and important things that need pointing out, rather than the standard traits that are expected of them such as better vision. A single bullet point stating that they're very Taianese in ability would cover a lot actually, but even then it can just be included in the paragraph there too.
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Re: Vanilla Honeysuckle/Immortal Cyan/October 29, 2019

Post by Immortal Cyan » Thu Nov 14, 2019 9:17 pm

Edits executed! @CadetNewb
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